What is a Parent's Role?

     In the creation of a family, there is an expectation that a parent now has a responsibility to protect and care for their child. In the case of Nora Hemler in A Doll’s House by Henrik Ibsen, she has turned her back on her given responsibility for herself. Though she had every reason to leave her marriage as she no longer felt love for her husband, Torvald, and she needed to find herself, I do not believe she was right in leaving her children to do this. When deciding what is best for her, she must also consider the implications of her actions, not only for herself but also the others that are around her.  

When considering if Nora did the “right thing,” it can be argued that she did partly. Her toxic relationship with Torvald led her to feel lesser than and controlled, thoughts that should never be found in a healthy relationship. Torvald chose to describe her as “[belonging] to him in two ways now: in a sense he’s given her fresh into the world again, and she’s become his wife and his child” (Henrik 144), which shows how much she had lost herself in the relationship. She was owned by her husband, who also thought her lesser than and someone who was not able to have deep knowledge of a topic. He saw her as a pet, something he could say he had, not as an equal human. With that, she was doing the “right thing” by leaving him, he was controlling and limiting her as a person, elements that should not be found within a healthy relationship. But despite this, I do not believe that she was fully right in what she was doing. She had every right to leave the marriage, but not her children. She says that she “won’t look in on the children” (Henrik 148), meaning that is leaving their lives entirely to live by themselves. It is understandable that she would not want to be around her husband as he is silencing her, but the abandonment of the children is not quite so. She has brought these children into the world, and they are hers, so she has a responsibility to take care of and protect them, especially from Torvald’s dangerous ideologies. By doing the “right thing” she would have kept being in their lives and had a hand in raising them, even if she is not with their father anymore. She is partially correct in her actions to leave Torvald, but not to leave her children.  

The “right thing” for Nora to do is to leave her controlling marriage, but it is not to leave her children without a mother to guide and nurture them. She should be able to learn more about herself without abandoning her children.